The Eye of Time

There's a smudge of grey blanketing the sky as I write, some sunlight filtering down. The cat is playful, a mere baby. He pads around the apartment, gazing at me every now and then with those full moon eyes of his. Deeply curious, deeply wise. It's just him and I this weekend, he is in my care. I adore the gentle and quiet way he leaps onto surfaces and the perfectly aligned way he sits, the way he stretches. How he is just him. The cat. Not mindlessly absorbing the ways of others around him, thinking too hard about who he needs to be in this world. He is who he is and that is that.

In fact this has been somewhat of a mantra for me this year. I am who I am and that is that.

I AM WHO I AM AND THAT IS THAT.

There have been many moments during this year that the words have slipped from my grasp, moved to sit behind the shadows cast by everything outside of me. However since the start of September something strong has shifted inside me for good this time. I sense the shift so deeply. The strength in who I am, here, right now as a woman and as a human being in this world. The strength resides and shines bright.

Three months lay sprawled between now and my thirtieth year alive in this world. So naturally I am reflective. Three months, thirty years, how time expands and contracts just like the breath in and out. How it seems to pause like the space between the inhale and exhale. I sit in this pause, the eye of time, amidst the beautiful storm that moves around me.

My day job really began to engulf me this year, in its vast and comfortable jaws. Being around the work and the people every single day made me want to rise in the environment. To work harder and not smarter. Definitely not intuitively and definitely not for myself. I applied and got into university to better my education in the field of work I have found myself in. I went out with my colleagues on Friday evenings getting ridiculously drunk and paying for it the next day. Because that's what you do isn't it? Work hard and long during the week to then finally let it all out on a Friday evening? No. This is not me. I lost myself. I let go of everything important in what defines me, what is aligned with me because I hadn't tried this way of life before. This 'normal' way to live. Thankfully I have returned to myself.

Something has never sat comfortably in me with abusing my body with alcohol and working in a day job where the content is dry and meaningless to me. Yet I do my best everyday. I turn up and I engage because the work is important to others and I respect this. I acknowledge this. However I am strong enough now to maintain my sense of self, and when I can, engage in work important to me. Thanks to submerging myself deeper into meditation I have returned to who I am. The shadows have passed, the breath from the mouth of the Universe has moved the tangled clouds from my vision.

I am a creative human being and this is how I am to live.

For as long as I can remember something hasn't felt right about working a day job to buy food, clothes, pay the bills, pay for transport and for holidays. All to support the day job which doesn't provide true fulfilment anyway. Counting down to the weekend where I can finally dive into what fills me up is not the best way to live. I am worthy of living everyday fulfilled, pouring out into the world what I am here for. We are all worthy of this.

There are two states of mind people live in. Working to live because this is what has been pumped into our minds since school. Be safe in your work, because how are you going to live otherwise? What will others think if you are not labelled by a good job, a respectable career? But is it respectable to yourself? This is the question that needs to be asked.

And then there is the way of life in which one has the power to create and manifest as one pleases. Living to work. Living to truthfully and uniquely serve others. Embracing creativity and trusting that all sources of abundance flow into life with ease. This is the way to live. With purpose. And I am in transition. I am grateful to be aware and awake.

Loretta xo

Space To Hold

I watched the mist crowd in this morning with ease and oblivious relief. The tiny droplets of water cooling the earth and the trees, the grey sky a welcoming shade over what had passed. The heat that had been sitting upon this little part of the world. As I opened my eyes from a refreshing meditation, my body exposed to the air that welcomed the passing of dark to dawn and dawn to morning, the view was vast. I was home.

Often I feel surrounded, sometimes almost suffocated by this need to be here and there, to be in a constant flurry of preparation. Almost months ahead, weeks ahead, days before where I have to be. In contrast I have a constant need to return to surroundings of space and stillness. Both inside and out. With no impending thoughts of a destination to be. To completely nourish in my own created space. I cherish this time with my whole being. I fear this is something missing in the collective mechanics of humanity.

In Buddhism there are four kinds of food, so to speak. One of these is volition, the motivation we each have within us to live out our days in which we are aligned to live. The hunger to live with intention. A healthy purpose. It's blissful to move like a cloud every now and then, however once in awhile it's warming to know I am moving with soulful intention. I believe it stimulates growth and awareness of myself and my surroundings. To come to this place in time is fuelled by holding space. No stimulation of any kind, sensory or the like. Perhaps for others it may be daunting to merely sit and breathe, to consciously breathe and focus in on the breath. To be the breath. However this enables for deep insight and each of our missions in this world to serve others. Being breath is a freeing break from external and internal voices shaping every movement and every thought. A strong inner desire can blossom in silence. To be free is to be love.

I yearn to return to this often. After hours of noise it is truly nourishing for me to return to stillness, space and silence. It gives life to the seeds of love and understanding that everyone inherently holds. It's often such seeds dry up and remain unfertilised, unloved.

Strength is drawn from this knowledge of stillness, silence and space.

The mist is as it is, drifting for a while and falling away in spacious beauty.

Loretta xo

Anchorage

There is magic somewhere between when dusk meets dawn. When the blanketed heat of an immense summer day is lifted. Slightly at first, one corner peeling upwards, followed by the slow lift of the entire body of heat. A time when our own bodies restore and rejuvenate as our minds rest. When ideas, answers and curiosities gently rise to the surface of our consciousness, to sit before our eyes. When dawn comes and we wake.

As of late I have felt peace in the waking moments before the first light of dawn. This slow and calm awakening anchors me for the day. In fact this early rising is one mere anchor that reminds me of myself. My grounding here on this earth, at present. I yearn to ease myself into the day, to meditate as the dawn awakens. Meditation is an anchor, for I carry the stillness of this practice through every day. Returning to the breath, to the energy centre within. Yoga, music, reading, these very words I write are anchors in my life. As the natural force of gravity descends upon our physical bodies, these anchors of choice descend upon our spiritual bodies.

We are more than we appear to each other.

Through enjoyable and aligned anchors I hope to radiate an even brighter energy. To increase the glow of my aura in the best way possible. I cannot fathom completely the importance of anchors in life at the present moment. This year is a divine year where energies will be rattled, and clarity will break, in fact is already breaking through everything that is past. I have felt this immense shift, beginning to move at the tail end of last year. Not only is my subjective outer perception clearer, but I am so much clearer within. And still. Settled. Strong.

Born from the act of creation, every single human being alive in this world today has the potential to create. To put forward a true part of yourself, an anchor. Something that reminds you of your sincere and aligned self. As an anchor is grounding it also reflects outwards. We each carry with us our bodies, serving both as a vessel and a mirror. Everything that goes within us will inevitably reflect from us. This is why I have with me my anchors, and they do anything but hold me down. They hold me together and act as a reminder of my alignment in and of this world.

Our souls are anchorage.

Holding us together.

As one, and as a whole.

Loretta xo

Soul and Service

To the left she is sitting, before me she is flat on the earth, breathing. The view through the tall windows ahead reveal the sculptured arms of trees dressed in green. The view of nature
for what seems like an eternity. To the left she is propped up by pillows, to the right she is comforted by blankets, merely resting within the very confines of air and space we all are. All present for similar reason.

When I imagine the soul I see a ball of light like the sun, so bright and ever present. Sometimes it can fit in the palm of my hand, and sometimes I can't fathom its immensity. Each one of us has a soul shining through our physical form. Glowing through our individual personalities. Reaching towards its peak of strength when we are our true selves.

Stripped back of our physical bodies, our minds and our hearts, the soul is universal.

What interests me most is the connection between the soul and our purpose in life. We are all unique in our personalities and our genetic makeup, as we are all different in the way we are of service to others. Once we have found the way a small pocket of the world lights up with love. This is how I see it and understand humanity's central role in life.

Surrounded by others, in white and at peace, I am at peace. The aura of each person expanding through the lightness and purity of white. The ease and the sheer openness, attracting everything in and holding onto only what is in alignment with each of our souls.

I hold and carry with me this bright aura of ease. Take the light and pure feeling with me, able to tap into the energy when circumstance calls for it. Strip myself of physical form, thoughts I am attached to, malleable traits that bend to fit my surroundings. To merely let the soul see and take the reigns for a short moment.

It's always within.

On a grey morning the sun is still awake, the personality of the day has just chosen to ride with a darker emotion. Grumbling, lighting up the sky and bawling wells of tears. The sun is still shining as one's soul will continue to shine.

Through everything.

Before everyone.

Loretta xo