A Step Out Of The Way

The sky sits stunned in blue, the pre dusk sun drapes the skin of commuters. Next to me fingers type languidly on keys, in front of me fingers tap softly to a song unknown to my ears. I hear a distant nose whistle as a man falls deep into rest, pierced by the conductor's whistle at the departing station. And here I sit, the familiar movie reel playing outside my window. I could fall asleep, wake up and still know where the story is at. 

It's taken me three attempts to write this post. Perhaps this is the one. Perhaps it's the steady motion of a rolling train on a Tuesday evening that will see the words flow. Rolling out of the hazy bustle of the city, back to the comfort of home.

It's taken me a few times to write and polish because I kept feeling like the words had been expressed too many times before. My own words tasted stale. Then again, this constant thought is at the crux of what I am reaching for. Getting out of my own way to allow things to happen. Getting out of my own thoughts and constant searching outside of me to let the aligned rise from within. To trust in myself and the divine power that is the Universe, the divine power that is Love. To trust in everything unfolding as it needs to. To express what I need to with confidence in my own voice.

A quote by St. Francis of Assisi appeared before me yesterday - 'Start by doing what's necessary, then do what's possible, and suddenly you're doing the impossible.' I read this as it is, about being in the moment as well as not letting go of feelings akin to our dreams. Using what we have, where we are, and our circumstances to transition into where our dreams lie. Most of us, if not all of us, are already in that transition. And some of us remain in limbo forever without even realising. Meditation and vigilance of the mind and of emotions are so important. Accepting everything as it comes and letting it pass. Gently, kindly. The small moments that get bigger and abundant each time we get out of our own way are like a breath out of water. It's a softening of the heart.

When any thought or action clashes with such gentleness, everything aligned falls. I can almost feel the flutter of feet within me when this happens. Hands clawing, pulling my heartstrings down. It brings this feeling of heaviness that sits inside when something isn't aligned. I learn each time, and each time all that is aligned with me becomes stronger and brighter.

The sky is still blue, a sheer curtain of smoky haze brushes against the approaching mountains. The sun is slowly falling. People have filtered out of the train. Someone is tapping away behind me, the seat next to me now vacant. 

Loretta xo